I Slept With A Dude And All I Got Was 'The Gay'

There are so many things in this world that should piss us off.... Debt, unemployment, bills, government, The Rubik's Cube... It boggles my mind that people will go to such lengths just to berate and destroy the lives of certain people and certain groups.

Listen, I'm no saint.  I drink, I smoke, I curse (by the way, I can tell this one will be a doozy with the language - beware). I've also used some hateful words and laughed about it. I'm not proud of that, I'm just being honest. But aside from the recent domination of the headlines, today I will be talking about... duh duh duuuuh... GAYS.

If there's one thing television is proving, it's that gay culture is becoming much more accepted.  Shows like Will & Grace, The 'L' Word, and The Teletubbies (See Fig. 1a) are forcing the stubborn public to at least take notice.

                                                                Fig. 1a - So Gay!

I have a family member, we'll call him... Anonymous Family Member A, who I watched struggle with his own sexuality.  When I first met him, he was a bitter, quiet, short-tempered bastard who only left his room to eat.  Now, we all knew he was gay, but he was closeted.  I think he was 18 when he finally came out, and his entire temperment changed.  You could see the relief in his face.  He was happy, vivacious, and FABULOOOUS!  I was so proud of him as were - most of - his family.  Shortly after, Anonymous Family Member A had several shitty relationships until he found one that he enjoyed, and now he and his boyfriend live together.

I promise I have a point.... I have certain problems with homophobia that I will debate here.

1. "BEING GAY IS A CHOICE"
                     Woah there fictitious gentleman saying the above phrase!!  I hate this statement, I really do.  Gay people are often ridiculed by their peers, shunned by there parents and family, and tortured by their own feelings of alienation.  That's like CHOOSING to be diabetic - or some other genetic issue that makes you 'different'... These kids are often hated.... HATED by their own parents because of their parents' own feelings of inadequacy.  Being gay is one of the hardest lifestyles to deal with, especially because it surfaces mostly in the tender throws of puberty. Who would choose that?  Hell, if being gay is a choice, thats like choosing to be ME (My mom hates me and I'm straight as an arrow!).

But I digress....

2. "GAYS SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED"
                      Why do you give a fuck???  As comedian Louis CK said, "you don't have to attend the wedding, or buy them a gift."  Let gays get married and be miserable like the rest of us!  If two people love each other to the point where they want to drain every last drop of patience, pride, and dignity out of each other for the rest of their lives.... Fuck 'em!

3. "I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE GAY, JUST DON'T HIT ON ME!"
                      First off, your thinly veiled bigotry isn't fooling anyone.  You care very much if people are gay to the point where you don't even want to view them.  Anyway... What are you talking about???  Your looks have transcended sexual preference. You should be flattered... you are the Meghan Fox of dick... Everyone wants to fuck you!  I say kudos to you sir!

4. "GOD HATES FAGS"
                     Well then, God's an asshole... actually check that... The antiquated assholes that can't interpret the lessons of the bible and adapt them to today's circumstances are weeping, degenerate, spiteful, probably-fighting-their-own-gay-tendencies, ASSHOLES!  Gays add so much to the fabric of this society it's incredible... What have you done besides hold up a hateful sign at a gay kids' funeral... Douche... Sorry...

The bottom line is this: ___________  <---- haha, you'll get that later....

Seriously though, I saw a picture that summed up everything I feel about this issue.  It was a billboard on an English byway that said: "Some People Are Gay, Get Over It."  I'm straight. I have a wife and two children, and I'm very happy with them... especially because my wife is hot!... BUT, stop hating people for shit they can't change about themselves.  Whether you approve or dissaprove of their lifestyle, they are human beings who are amazingly beautiful people inside and out.  If you had a gay child how would you treat them?  Thankfully now, as I said before, gay culture is becoming pop culture.  There is still a ways to go, but at least it helps. 

Side note - Artie Lange had a funny joke about thinking there is TOO much gay content on TV.  He said, 'It's gotten to the point now where if you're not gay.... You're a fucking fag!'  I thought that was funny....

Side Side note - My wife is hot!! (See fig. 1b)

Fig. 1b